breakdown.
silently, tears just rolled down my cheeks.

suddenly, i dun care how others feel about me.
i dun care whether others say i'm too emotional or watever.
cuz true frenz would not talk bad behind my back.

it's not purely because of results that i cried.
it's that i can take those stress no more.NO MORE.
i'm just feel so tired of things around me.
i have no more strength to go on.
i'm afraid i dun even have the power to hang on, like what i'm doing now.

just wat's wrong with me?
just wat is the cause of all these poor results?
is it because i have too much commitments?
well, not really. ever since secondary school, it's always the four aspect of my life: FAMILY, FRENZ, STUDIES, CHOIR.
dun understand those subject?
i have tried to understand those subjects by asking pple and reading by. so this shouldnt be a problem.
too stressed up?
i guess this is the most likely problem that lead to me breaking down into tears.
bothered by other issues?
well, issues? nothing much really happen these few days, so nothing for me to worry about.
[only when i know the causes, then can i move forward.]-by "2nd" daddy

elizabeth. rebecca. julian.
yanling. dianna. peishan. mary. atiqah. shye fern. stella. aik kun. yiru.
claudia. wanying. cheryl.
shawn.
"2nd" daddy
thanks for all conern, i really appreciate.

i cant promise to be strong straight away,
nor can i give u guys a smile right now.
but all i can assure you all is that, i will try to look for my true self.
and get back on track as soon as possible.

tears.
[escaping from reality]
signing off-huiminz

She Smiled At5:28 PM

tired.
mentally and physically..
i need a rest, can i?
i cant afford to lose any more precious time.
am i forcing myself to the end?

TENACIOUS
marcus. shye fern. ting ming.
a wonderful group.
it just reminds me of TCHAIKOVSKY.
still TENACIOUS can't replace TCHAIKOVKSY in my heart.
with hwee ing, shye fern, stella and zul..

packed schedule.
mon: going out with elizabeth, 3 years anniversary of our friendship.=p
tue: choir practise.
wed: CIP.
thur: physics remedial.
fri: CIP.

suddenly, the thought of O' levels came into my mind.
oh gosh, why is time rushing?

missing my "2nd" daddy and mummy.

..i think i need a rest from all these..
signing off-huiminz

She Smiled At8:45 PM

_mistaken identity_
where is huiminz?
why is she hiding behind a mask?

a mask i always thought could deny everything.
a mask which i used to think that no one would expose it.
i am so wrong.

no tears could change the fact of my terrible results.
so why cry?
the problems is that i cant control my tears from flowing.
i cried over for results once again.
i BROKE my promise.
a promise i made to myself since nov,04'.
the promise that i would cry for results no more.
i just cant hold back my tears.

well, there's always a flip side of the coin.
i could think that it was the teacher who mark so strictly, resulting in my poor results.
is this an excuse to why i did so badly?
or was it a positive thought to keep me going?

finally, i found another goal of my life.
=)

bought a bag from "converse"and a wallet from "the wallet shop".
i didnt want to spent money on such unnecessary stuff.
but mum insist.
i guess she saw my old torn bag and my dirty small purse.
i loved it.
like a chinese proverb: "jiu de bu qu, xin de bu lai"
loosely translated, it means i should let go of the old stuff in order to discover some other new stuff.

hanging on.
signing off-huiminz

She Smiled At10:14 PM

ATTENTION.
yes, we did it.
the choir did grab most of the people's attention while we were singing during recess.
it was counted as a successful performance since there arnt really a lot of practises on these.
the most HAPPY thing is that we are consider relatively loud WITHOUT mikes.
=)

shall i name those homework given?
english filming, english debate, emaths hmwk, amaths hmwk, amaths classwork, phy txbk, phy wkbk, chem tys, chinese wkbk..
sigh, when am i gonna finish ALL these?

[perhaps, i need time.
just leave me alone.
the most terrible chinese results i have ever got.
_disappointed_
i need to cool down.
just leave me alone.]

i'm lost in the own world of mine.
all i need is time.

signing off-huiminz

She Smiled At11:42 AM

canteen performance.
TMR?
oh sigh.
how time flies.
and choir is performing tmr.
that's pretty fast.
wondering how we will fair?
i guess we really didnt really train as hard as we train for CCA fair.
just another performance, hopefully with no negative comments.

i teared upon seeing yingqi cry..
i just cant stand it.
i'm just SO close to her.
hoping that the situation will get better.

slack.
why am i slacking around?
why am i not very serious when i felt the urge.
the urge that O's is coming our way.

stepping down in choir.
the days are near.
SOON..

i just felt tired.
yawns.

signing off-huiminz

She Smiled At11:24 PM

the remaining days in choir.
the remaining time in junyuan secondary.
the familiar faces of my friends.

perhaps, i took all for granted.
starting to cherish people more.

just read through some of previous blog entries.
MEMORIES.
1e2, 03'.
2e3, 04'.
3e3, 05'.
sec 1 camp, 03'.
amundsen, 05'.
tchaikovsky, 05'.
choir camp, 05'.
birthday, esp 05'.
acapella singing, 06'.
valentine's day, esp 06'.

most of all, i gt a few true frenz.
=)

fast pace.
i'm catching up with time.

_tired_
signing off-huiminz

She Smiled At3:26 PM

results, results.
whatever it is.
it had become history.
we cant change the fact of our results anymore.
so let's moan no more, and work harder for the next test.
yes, we CAN do it.

CARELESS mistakes.
sigh. i simply hate them.
well, just gonna have a habit of checking my work every now and den.
to prevent careless mistake from happening the next time wrong.
shant repeat those mistakes, but learn from it instead.
=)

simply busy with work.
this year is just so different.

nowadays, people around me are getting sick.
shenny, li hin, hui zhuang, dianna, yiru.. take care yea?
myself gt sick too.
argh, just dun get it.
why am i sick at this "busiest" time.

choir was alright.
canteen performance coming up.
wonderful memories.

[say i show attitude or watever.
i have no time to quarrel with you.
perhaps, i'm not as good.]

tired.
signing off-huiminz

She Smiled At6:15 PM

FIERCE.
i..
didnt mean to shout at the alto members.
but well, they are far too noisy.
i talk to them nicely but i found out that losing my temper at them do help at times.

afterall, i'm stepping down soon.
i really cant bear to leave the choir.
i'm ATTACHED to choir.

worried.
didnt have pleasent nights ever since this week.[if i'm nt wrong]
just wat's happening?
cant help but things just float in my mind.
worries.

time management
signing off-huiminz

She Smiled At8:17 PM

in a wink of an eye, it's already the 15th of feb.
time FLIES.

sijia. rebecca. jasmine.
gave me chocolates and sweets today.
gosh, do i really look very greedy.
well, actually i AM.
drooling over chocolates.
=p

already had lots of TAs coming up.
took bout 4 subjects le.
another 3 more to go.
JIAYOU.

choir sectional?
oh my.
why didnt i heard the announcement becky make to the sec 1s and those sectional leaders?
i wasnt in the scene?
gosh, wat last minute work.

COME ON. GO! GO! GO!
=p

i give. not to expect anything in return.
but when i gt things in return, those feelings are just so great.

signing off-huiminz

She Smiled At9:04 PM

the very FIRST time i recieve so many gifts on valentine's day.
so sweet.
i really appreciate all those stuff, those thoughts.

yingqi. yanling. cheryl. dianna. elizabeth. claudia. xinling. atiqah. li hin. peishan and mary. daryl. julian. pohsheng. mr jae.
for all those letters, chocolates, sweets, bears, necklaces and stuff.
i really wan to thank you guys for making my day.
=)

seriously, 14.02.06 is a special day for me.

valentine's day is equal to friendship day?
well, to me. YES, of course.
it's just a special day that is set aside for us to tell the ones we love that we love them.

i just want to let my dearest frenz know that they are special to me.
esp to those who i prepare presents for.
[i WOULDNT "xi xin yan jiu"-in chinese. loosely translated meaning "treasure what you have now and forgot what you used to have in the past".. i sure WOULDNT..]

julian.
you suprise me.
please dun spent more money on me.
i will feel guilty de.
but seriously,i LOVE the gift.
thanks.

those moments would never be forgotten.

hong jun. i'm always there for you when you need me.
i PROMISE.
=)

signing off-huiminz

She Smiled At7:21 PM

suprise.
well, going to suprise my special frenz tmr.
VALENTINE'S DAY= a day to tell the one you love that you love them.
[though the gifts arnt very expensive, but it's the thoughts that count..]

english TA today,
the passage was rather difficult.
more and more TAs coming up.
everyone, JIAYOU!

called dianna today.
wanted to catch up with her.
but well, she was asleep.
never mind, try again tomorrow den.
=p

restless.
i havnt gt enough sleep these few days.
i was so tired that i had afternoon nap today.
indeed, a long one.
take up a lot of my time,but well, at least i feel better.
=)

shall blog more tmr?

signing off-huiminz

She Smiled At9:31 PM

the nervous atmosphere was created once mrs oh started to show the slides on the screen on friday. the slides on how the previous batch fair for their O levels.
well, those nervous feelings cant be explain in anyway.
some teared and of course there will be some who were smiling, upon recieving their results.
this scenario had act as pushing force for the current sec 4s batch to work harder.
come on, JIAYOU!!

went to visit someone very close to me on saturday.
my "2nd mummy and 2nd daddy.."
well, acknowledge them since last year.[if i'm not wrong..]
ate lunch there and guess what?
mummy's and daddy's cooking was just so GREAT!!
had a long chat after lunch.
just enjoy their company lots.
=)

stella, zul, shye fern.
i miss TCHAIKOVSKY lots.
"though all of us have different clicks of frenz, but our bonding remain as strong."-by stella.
i STRONGLY agree with stella, well, i just miss those times.
just glad that these are WONDERFUL memories.

SSERTS?
the "reciprocal" of this word is STRESS.
well, no more stress.
throwing them all away.
too much stresss arnt good after all.
=p

VALENTINE'S DAY.
yipee.
a special day to tell the one you love that you love them.
boo-hoo.

will be calling dianna and wanying soon.
seems like we havnt chat for quite some time.
=)

-together, those times-
signing off-huiminz

She Smiled At11:24 AM

they are simply TOO cute and adorable.
kimmy. jennifer. krystal. ivy. chiu peng. aiysha. yan hock. wilbert. han wei. rui yang.
YEAH. i remember all 10 sec 1s from choir, alto.
those familiar faces just remind me of my own sec 1 life.
with dianna, elizabeth, yiru, xuan hui and cheryl.
those were the times.
=)

it's not easy teaching members who is new to the music world.
it's not easy standing in front of those sec 1s and speak to them.
it's not easy trying to drill the lyrics in the song into their head.
it's not an easy task, but i will try my very best.
it's not easy but somehow, i will get there.
=)

i'm hanging on.

tests. homeworks. stress.
well, i'm gonna DEFEAT these soon.
just wait, i'm preparing for the WAR.
and i'm gonna make it.
YES, i'm gonna make it.

14.02.
VALENTINE'S day.
boo-hoo.
life is full of suprises.

enjoying myself to the fullest in life.
who knows what's gonna happen the next moment?

looking forward to that day..
signing off-huiminz

She Smiled At10:45 PM

it had been 3 days ever since my last blog entry.

-lost track of time-

busy with stuff.
test test and more test.
homework homework and yet more homework.
getting rather stress.
well, maybe this is the life of secondary 4.

my choir sec 1 juniors make me smile today.
they are simply so cute.
well, learnt a new song today.
"wonderful wonderful world."

perhaps the world is wonderful after all.
=)

14 feb.
a day to celebrate friendship.
a special day to tell others how much you love them.
-i'm gonna suprise my special frenz? -

i just doubt that i'll blog everyday like how i used to in the past.

.. and i lost track of time
signing off-huiminz

She Smiled At8:53 PM

[P/S: mr ong, the assigment is right after this blog entry]

xuan hui. yiru. samantha. cecilia. dianna. marcus. daryl. huimin.
8 of us make a trip to SengKang from dianna's house.[without karchin]
the bus 87 was so fulled that we hardly have any space to move.
as the bus was packed as sardine, the bus driver didnt pull over when it came to bus stops.
one person at that bus stop point middle finger and the words that come out from his mouth are all vulgarity.
how INCONSIDERATE?
just how inconsiderate can these people be?
cant he just put himself in others' shoes?

went to dianna's house for visiting.
after which, went to mr ang.k.k house.
well, it was a rather memorable day.
sort of gathering.
=)

nianci, mr ang.k.k daugther, was so CUTE.
her hand was so small.
=)
cute, cutE, cuTE, cUTE, CUTE!!

saw the letter that i give dianna pasted on the door of her cupboard.
so touched.=)
well,both of us cherish this friendship lots.
i BELIEVE our friendship wil last forever.
yes,FOREVER.

yiru. xuan hui.
it seems we are still so close though we seldom speak.
that's how true frenz should be,isnt it?

played fire crackers with cecilia, yiru, dianna weixuan[dianna's cousin].
it was rather fun.
we took a lot of photos too.
=)

i need more TIME.
rushing, rushing for homework.

[together..]
signing off-huiminz

She Smiled At11:20 PM

Why have such high expectations, when one have distress as a result? I believe that in a modern society, having stress is quite a normal matter. However, I find that having excessive stress is unnecessary.

There are forms of stress. One of which is positive and an optimal level of stress is needed to improve performance in whatever task one does. Without stress, one wouldn't really perform up to standard. This is because they don't feel the urge to score better as the outcome would be the same, whether they perform well or otherwise. On the other hand, raising stress levels further could cause performance to deteriorate. This may even result in people committing suicide. Death is one of the ways people choose to end their life due to excess stress. Some even choose to migrate since they can't really handle stress.

Adults often neglect the stress that children are handling, due to their busy schedule. Most of the time, parents don't really care about their children. Parents often scold children for little mistakes and seldom praise them, no matter how well they have done. This pulls the child self-esteem down. It also acts as a heavier burden to the children. The children may even need to handle with more stress, without the acknowledgement of the parents.

There are symptoms to show that a child under a lot of pressure. When the child appears forgetful and shows poor concentration, the adult should have notice that something is not right. One of the warnings to the adult is when the child had been withdrawn and quiet. The most obvious sign is when the child appears worried about many things and sheds tears over doing some things.

When these symptoms had been identity, the parents should take some actions by either counseling the child or help the child lessen their burden. Further more, parents should also teach their children how to manage time well. If none of these work, parents might consider speaking to a doctor, teacher, counsellor or a psychiatrist.

If those stresses the children are having could be handled properly, there would be fewer cases of people committing suicide and of people migrating overseas. It would be better if the children are not facing too much stress. Like this, there would be no need for the parents to counsel the children since no problems had been detected. To prevent the children to have too much stress, the parents should spend more time with the children. At the same time, the parents should try and find out more about the children's life. Teachers also must play a part to ensure that children don't face too much stress. Teachers should not set unrealistic goals for the children. On the same plane, teachers should have a limit in giving homework.

As mention by Dr Fung, part of living in Singapore involves stress. So in conclusion, having a certain level of stress is good to keep us improving, however, an excess amount of stress is hindrance from improving.

[504 words]
Links:
http://www.selectivemutism.homestead.com/files/When_a_kid_s_stress_becomes_distress___APRIL_10__2002.htm
http://www.rgs.edu.sg/student/cca/tribune/choc_8_school.html

She Smiled At11:05 PM

undone.
full stop.
i wonder when will we complete all the homework given.
sigh, it's just seems to be too much for us.

maybe sec 4 life is like that?
things are getting tougher and tougher.
workload havnt seems to lighten, instead, it had been added.
all subjects are needed to touch and brush up on,
either homework or test coming up.
argh.

well, we must NEVER give up.
so hang on there, all my frenz.
after the hardwork and sweat we put in,
i believe the outcome will be a fruitful one.
=)
so JIAYOU.

atiqah had really touched my heart.
she told me that she's gonna present something today.
and all she need is my moral support.
well, without saying, of course, i'll be there for her.
and guess wat?
she actually stood in front of the class and thank those she loved.
she said she had appreciate every single of us.
YEA, THAT'S THE SPIRIT.

it just bring me back to "i'm not stupid too".
when is the last time you praise someone?
when is the last time you have been praise?

pple just dunno how to appreciate pple around them until they lose them all.
atiqah was just so great.

why are there so many essays to be done?
mt essay. english essay. even geography.
argh.

continue with my work for the time being.

[atiqah. gal, i had also appreciate your support all these while..=) ]
signing off-huiminz

She Smiled At6:20 PM

[everything seems to be back to normal.]

everyone still seems to be in holiday mood.
well, was rather "high" today.
4e3 seems to be so abnormal.
we shouted and shouted, cheer and cheer, laugh and laugh.
gosh, so we are moving on.
from good to bad, and bad to worse.
we are getting some life here, no more GRAVEYARDS.
crazy us, noisy noisy noisy.
what had happen?(who knows?)

perhaps, everyone had started to make use to the remaining time left in JUNYUAN to do something memorable.
and all this start for US, within US.
[three cheers and three cheers and three cheers to 4e3..
hip hip. HORRAY!
hip HIP. HORRAY!!
HIP HIP.HORRAY!!!]

why?
why do pple always wanted to start cherish something, when he/she had lost it.
why?
why do pple always look at others' weakness and only at their strength at the very last moment?
why?
why do pple always regret what they have done when they had already hurt someone else?

-warn out-

why everything seems to come at the same time?
signing off-huiminz

She Smiled At4:14 PM

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